I assume at this point I should go into a little more detail about myself. Before I begin, I do hope that whoever reads this blog does so with an open heart and mind, because that is the vibe I am in as I write to you. This blog will encompass my life and my thoughts. Initially, I set out to only blog about my hair, but I am such a complex person made up of so many different facets that I figured I'd let this be an outlet for my thoughts.

So, today I'll begin where I intended to start, with my hair. Let's see...ever since I can remember I have been one of those women with "hair hang ups". I always wanted the long silky hair. As a girl, I would do like many African American women, and prance around the bathroom with a towel draped across my hair and pretend it was my own. It sounds pathetic, but its the truth. Like many, I was bombared with pictures of what society said was perfection, and nobody on those pictures looked like me. Though my skin is the considered light(which some would argue is a more acceptable trait), I had hair that clearly was brought over on the ship, my gap is another reflection of my African heritage, and the folds on my eye lid didn't come from Asia.

Subsequently, since the age of about 14-years-old, I wore a weave of some sort. At times I just wore a piece here and there. I'd wear a faux pony tail, or an addition to a beehive (if you were born in the 70's you know about the 90's version of the beehives). I'll try to scan a few pictures. Now, there were times I'd wear a short hair cut, but I didn't feel my best in these moments.

At any rate, I began to become so comfortable with weave that I started putting it in myself and wearing it all the time. Well, around 2001, I got sick of the weave and the European standard of beauty. It began to make me sick to my stomach. I hated seeing black women try to adopt the same look as white women. It began to get upset with myself. Why? Why do I want to look like them? Why do my own people idealize the beauty of another group and try to immulate them? Why is it that I attract more brothas with a weave down my back then with my fro? Why can't I read any new "black novels" that don't describe the main character as if they are mixed with everything else and then a dab of black? Why do I listen to "Beautiful" by Snoop Dog and the idol of the black man's affection is something other than an African American female? Why does she have to be like Nelly says, "half black and Asian"? Why? Why? Why?

Now please understand I have nothing against people who represent the ethinic blends I just refered to. My problem is when my own people put those on a pedistal instead of embracing what is truly theirs...